Matched & Packed

Yes! We have been matched. And it looks like we will be flying to Missouri after all. Our baby is due May 14th. IT’S A BOY! His name will be Hudson Oscar Dozhier. We are very excited!

It is a different birth mother than the previous birth mother from Missouri. Without our previous experience we would not have been given this opportunity. And for that we are very grateful. “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers”. In the beginning this birth mother did not want to know anything about the adoptive parents. As you can imagine that makes it very difficult for the adoption agency to match the adoptive parents. With us having been packed, and ready to go to Missouri before, we were the perfect match. We have had some reserve about traveling out of state for adoption. However, we both strongly feel that we need to put our whole heart into this adoption. It means traveling, staying in Missouri for 5-21 days, working with Missouri’s legal system, and taking risks. Worst case scenario we get our hearts broken and come home without our baby. Best case scenario we welcome home our beautiful baby boy. How could we not do this! How could we pass this opportunity up because we are afraid of being hurt? We just can’t! We would never accomplish anything if we just stood passively by and watched life play out in front of our eyes. We need to jump in, dig deep, and take risks.

"There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire"

So with that being said, we have packed our bags, AGAIN! We are more than ready for our baby to come home. Last night Corey finished up some paperwork from the adoption agency and the attorney and I wrote this blog entry. As of now the birth mother has asked some questions about us, but still does not want to meet or speak with us. She does want us at the hospital when the baby is born because she does not want to see the baby, but she wants us to be there for the baby. Next Tuesday the birth mother has a doctor’s appointment and we are hoping for an induction date. We will keep everyone posted!

Hurry Up & Wait or “Strike Three”

We had a difference of opinion on what the title of this blog should be. So we compromised. We have been acting like Tasmanian Devils. Running around getting everything ready for the home study, and gathering essential baby gear. In the meantime we have been presented with three available situations. The baby in Missouri as mentioned in our previous blog. A baby in Virginia whose birth mother chose another family. We find comfort in knowing that the baby is going to a good home. “Strike three” was a baby this last week who unfortunately, because of his ethnicity, was just out of reach of our financial means. We have not heard anything from our Adoption Agency in four days so now we sit and wait. Recently we have been asked by a few people if we have an adoption fund. These questions really got us thinking about different ways to raise and save money after the last available situation that we were forced to turn down. One of the things we have done is apply for 2 adoption grants. One is through The Gift of Adoption Fund and one is through Helpusadopt.org. We have also signed up with a company that helps families raise money for adoption through the sale of coffee. And we have opened an adoption fund at our local Chase Bank branch. If you have heard of any other fundraising opportunities for adoption we are open to suggestions. If you are interested in helping us adopt through the purchase of coffee you may go to http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheDozhiers. If you are interested in making contributions through Chase you may visit any Chase branch and let them know you would like to contribute to The Dozhier Adoption Fund. Or you may send contributions to The Dozhier Adoption Fund, 1304 N Redwood Rd. #151, Saratoga Springs, Ut. 84045. We are so grateful for everyone’s support going through this process. We are amazed by the enthusiasm and kindness we have been shown. We are excited to bring our little one home. And hope that it’s sooner rather than later.

Love,

The Dozhier’s

"We look at adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side. I would dedicate my life to this child". -Jamie Lee Curtis

Whew! It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions the last two days. Our Home Study lasted an hour and 30 minutes. The social worker was extremely sweet and put us right at ease very quickly. It was such a relief to jump that hurdle. We had some errands to run that day. This included dropping off the final paperwork to the adoption agency. We called to find out if anyone would be at the office and that's when it all started. As soon as the agency found out that we had completed our paperwork and home study they presented us with a birth mother that was due April 4th (Easter Sunday) and lived in Missouri. We had originally decided that we would only finalize the adoption in Utah. However, this particular birth mother was unable to travel to Utah. We agreed to move forward and set up a phone conversation with the birth mother the following morning at 10am. Needless to say we went crazy! We ran to babies r us, target, and walmart gathering the essentials. When we got home Corey looked up the closest hotels to the hospital in St. Louis. While I washed clothes, blankets, hats, socks and boiled binki's and bottles. Then we had to try and get our sleep. It was a long night! This morning we were excited, anxious and nervous to talk with the birth mother. At 10am the phone rang! It was the social worker. She put us on hold while she tried to connect us with the birth mother. The birth mother did not answer, but called the social worker right back. When the social worker tried to connect our calls she hung up on us. The social worker called us back she told us that it was a bad time for the birth mother and asked us if we could talk at 11:30. That was a long hour and a half. At 11:30 the social worker called back. By this time our stomach's were turning and hearts racing. The social worker put us on hold and called the birth mother. When the social worker got back on the phone she told us that the birth mother was not answering her phone. We didn't know what was going on. Twenty minutes later the social worker called us and told us that know one was able to reach the birth mother. And that was that! We were devastated, we still are. We don't know if we will ever know what happened. All we do know is that this is a difficult decision for the birth mother. And we respect her decision whatever that is. At this time we are not waiting for her to change her mind or notify the agency. We have accepted that what is meant to be will be. The day will come that we are united with our child. We are 100% certain of that.