"We look at adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side. I would dedicate my life to this child". -Jamie Lee Curtis

Whew! It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions the last two days. Our Home Study lasted an hour and 30 minutes. The social worker was extremely sweet and put us right at ease very quickly. It was such a relief to jump that hurdle. We had some errands to run that day. This included dropping off the final paperwork to the adoption agency. We called to find out if anyone would be at the office and that's when it all started. As soon as the agency found out that we had completed our paperwork and home study they presented us with a birth mother that was due April 4th (Easter Sunday) and lived in Missouri. We had originally decided that we would only finalize the adoption in Utah. However, this particular birth mother was unable to travel to Utah. We agreed to move forward and set up a phone conversation with the birth mother the following morning at 10am. Needless to say we went crazy! We ran to babies r us, target, and walmart gathering the essentials. When we got home Corey looked up the closest hotels to the hospital in St. Louis. While I washed clothes, blankets, hats, socks and boiled binki's and bottles. Then we had to try and get our sleep. It was a long night! This morning we were excited, anxious and nervous to talk with the birth mother. At 10am the phone rang! It was the social worker. She put us on hold while she tried to connect us with the birth mother. The birth mother did not answer, but called the social worker right back. When the social worker tried to connect our calls she hung up on us. The social worker called us back she told us that it was a bad time for the birth mother and asked us if we could talk at 11:30. That was a long hour and a half. At 11:30 the social worker called back. By this time our stomach's were turning and hearts racing. The social worker put us on hold and called the birth mother. When the social worker got back on the phone she told us that the birth mother was not answering her phone. We didn't know what was going on. Twenty minutes later the social worker called us and told us that know one was able to reach the birth mother. And that was that! We were devastated, we still are. We don't know if we will ever know what happened. All we do know is that this is a difficult decision for the birth mother. And we respect her decision whatever that is. At this time we are not waiting for her to change her mind or notify the agency. We have accepted that what is meant to be will be. The day will come that we are united with our child. We are 100% certain of that.